Peri-what? How education and empathy create support.

The theme for International Women’s Day this year is #BreakTheBias. But how can we truly remove discrimination if we don’t know what women are going through?

I was having coffee with a couple of my fabulously forty-something friends recently and one of them said, “I didn’t even know anything about this perimenopause thing until you two started talking about it.” This friend is not alone. I was not prepared myself!

Menopause (and perimenopause) is something that will affect every single person with a womb in one way or another, yet we aren’t taught about it and there is very little discussion or recognition of it. How is this possible?! Every. Single. Woman. And if they don’t know, then I would guess that men know even less.

As women are building their careers, many of them have to do so while also having babies, raising children, or making the choice (like me) not to have children. Regardless of the choices we make, all women will reach menopause. And a very large proportion of them will have to endure symptoms of some kind.

The topic is very rarely spoken about, (like periods and the details of childbirth). And as a result, there is little support out there for women going through perimenopause. They just have to make their own way through, figuring it out as they go.

I have great regret for my teenage-self making fun of my mother for coming home from work and cranking up the air-con to a point that my sisters and I had to wear jackets in the house in summer!

Most women will get some symptoms during perimenopause, which is the lead up to menopause (a single point in time when it’s been 12 months since their last period). These symptoms can last for several (sometimes four) years. Years!

We have come a long way in terms of breaking the bias against women in business, but we still have a way to go. All genders need to actively support women rising up the ranks in corporations, agencies and start ups, and must continue to ensure proper representation at the top. One of the ways to do this is to learn about and talk empathetically about the barriers that women (and other marginalised humans) must go through to get there.

Society is much better at supporting women (and men) having children than it has been, but we need to be mindful that many women at the top of their game are most likely also having regular migraines, crippling period pain, low moods, extreme tiredness, emotional swings, and/or hot flashes. The remarkable thing about women is that they will be pushing through, and just dealing with it.

So, what am I saying?

Education and empathy is what is needed to properly support women and ultimately, genuinely, break the bias. That’s part of the reason I am writing this. I’m shocked at how little coverage perimenopause gets, but now that I know, I just think women are even more amazing. So go out and learn, ask questions, share your stories, and be thoughtful. Women go through a lot, and that is what makes them strong, not weak. 

I am writing this with one eye shut because I have a migraine coming on…

If anything you've read here piques your interest, we'd love to hear from you at hello@poppins.agency